A Good Man Will…

What’s shakin’, welcome back to ALL IN!

 

Today’s going to be an interesting topic that we’re going to cover, it’s something that’s actually pretty near and dear to my heart because there’s this like, rage inside of me that comes up when I start to see a man mistreating a woman or just a man being a dick hole to begin with. Okay, so today, I want to talk to you about some things about what I feel a good man is.

 

So men listen up on this one, because these could be things that could help you grow, maybe help you get past some things in your life, because it might not even be where you’re intentionally doing some of these things and women also please listen in because this might help you identify whether you’re with a good guy or not. Or whether you’re curious about if this really is a good man that you might want to be with or whatever your perspective, you’re looking at this from, because here’s the thing, there are good men out there. And you know what, there’s a lot of them, there’s a lot of good men that are out there, there’s not just one or two and thinking that you’re never going to find a good one or thinking that you’re never going to be a good one, you probably are a pretty good one already. And you might even be with a good one already. But maybe not. And we’ll dive into a lot of that today. 

 

So what constitutes a good man? Strong in character, you know, able to provide all those things. But let’s go into some things that I like, so much to talk about, which comes down to emotional intelligence. That’s really what I’m talking about when it comes to being a good man, emotional intelligence, emotionally present, you know, men that are like retrack, they’re like, that want to be macho and hide their emotions, I’m sorry, that’s not a good man. That’s somebody who’s trying to be somebody that they’re not. But at the same time, you want a man who is strong in conviction that can forge a path forward. So there’s a couple things I’m going to give you, as far as I see, that are traits of a good man, and we’ll talk about them today.

 

There’s one thing in particular, that we’ll start with this as far as emotional intelligence goes. And while I’ve always been able to pride myself in being able to make snap decisions on things, you know, it’s typically things that don’t have necessarily emotional involvement I’m talking typically business is when I can make super fast decisions, and go going a certain way, without too much thought process going into it because I’ve done it before. A million times. I’ve been in that situation before I draw on previous experience, but I’m talking about things that really matter in life, because a good man will always strive to be patient and calm in decision making.

 

You can be fast, and still calm, you can be fast, and actually still be patient in some ways, if you’re drawing on previous experience, but a good man tries to be they strive to be patient and calm in decision making, because they understand that decisions that are made in like a moment of impulse, especially when it comes to like emotional vulnerability or emotional times. That’s when bad decisions happen. 

 

So, there’s a phrase that I use a lot that I tried to just rest on, is saying, “You know what, I’ll sleep on it.” Because then you can actually like, process your stuff and let things sink in a little bit and even if you made a decision today, and then you slept on it, and then something else tomorrow comes up, and you’re like, “You know what, maybe I slept on it, and now I changed my mind” is also okay, but a good man strives to be patient and calm, not making decisions in a fit of anger or hurts, or whatever else that could cause him to be emotionally vulnerable in that moment and make a poor choice. That’s the first one. So when you look back at your decisions, were they all made when you’re calm? I can say that they haven’t been that doesn’t mean that I’m a bad guy or you’re a bad guy, or women that you’re with a bad guy. It’s just if it consistently happens, then you’ve got an issue, because that would not be a good man to me. A good man always strives to be this. But a good man is still human. Remember that a good man is still human. When you see the consistent patterns of these things, that becomes where the problem is.

 

Alright, the second thing that I see in a good man’s character is, oh my gosh, this one, this one really gets me going. And this is one where it could be a complete stranger and I just want to go there and just pummel the guy in the head, because this is just something that I don’t feel any man should ever do. And that’s to derive joy,  from making a woman feel intimidated, whether that’s emotionally intimidated, physically intimidated, whatever. If you’re doing that right now, just because it’s a mode of defensiveness for you, or because you feel like you need superiority.

 

Stop listening right now,  and go get yourself some help. Because that is just unacceptable. And this is something that gets me going. Oh, my God, even when it’s just a stranger and I see a dude putting down a woman emotionally or physically and the woman feels intimidated in that moment, and the guy, I’ve seen this, like the little fucking smirks that come across their face in their moment that they’re like, “I gotcha. See, I’m better than you.”

 

That is no place on this planet. You should never breed, you’re hearing me? If this is something that’s you, you should never breed.

 

Now that we’ve gotten that over, you know what the good guys are the ones that might say, some bad things in some moments. However, their intentions are always good. They’re never there to make a woman feel less, or inferior, or even the least of all intimidated. Their intention is to always build up and come to mutual reconciliation so that you can grow together because a good man derives no joy from making a woman feel intimidated. I hope you heard me on that one, loud and clear. Alright. 

 

The third one is that a good man knows that just because some people don’t respond well to kindness, it doesn’t mean that it’s wasted on them. Right? There’s some people that have a hard time saying thank you when you do something kind for them, there’s some people that have a hard time acknowledging those things. But it doesn’t mean that a good man will just stop doing that because a good man will continue to be kind. Even in those moments. Now he may decide to be selective with his kindness, or maybe not go overboard, do like a 10 acts on normal kindness for somebody that doesn’t respond, but that kindness is still not wasted, especially for somebody that might have a lot of trauma in their life that’s maybe had their heart hardened, that has a wall up around their hearts.

 

Because every little act of kindness can start to chip that away. A good man knows that just because some people don’t respond well to kindness doesn’t mean that that kindness is wasted. So keep going, guys. I love seeing these things and you know what you hold a door for, for a woman, they don’t say thank you, this happens a lot to me, I hold doors a lot. They don’t say thank you. It’s okay.

 

If you give a woman a gift, and they don’t say thank you, it’s okay.

 

If you buy a woman a drink at a bar, and they don’t say thank you, it’s okay.

 

Because you might have just been the best thing in that person’s life today. And at some point that will sink in because it’s impossible, impossible for anybody to completely ignore kindness. They’re just responding to it poorly. You’re tracking with me, so you are a good man.

 

The fourth thing is that a good man isn’t afraid to admit his ignorance. Now, this isn’t something to where it’s admitting that you were wrong. That’s a whole nother thing I’m talking about in meaning is ignorance, the ability to say? I don’t know. Actually, it’s quite the opposite. Because a man that’s able to say, I don’t know, is actually being aware of where he’s at in himself. And it’s actually an indication of emotional intelligence and even just smarts, regular intelligence, becoming aware that you don’t know something and admitting that you don’t know admitting your ignorance to something is actually amazing. Because the beginning of finding out that knowledge, is just understanding that you don’t know it to begin with, that you have that awareness. And this could even be very much so even amplified in relationships, especially as you’re learning somebody, especially as something new comes up in an argument or a fight. And you discover something new about that person and it’s awesome in those moments to just say that you don’t know. Because really what you’re saying, in women when the dude says this, they’re really saying, I want to know you more. I want to hear more about this, because I don’t know. And now that I’m aware that I don’t know, I know how to show up from you, for you from this point on.

 

That’s pretty awesome.

 

The fifth thing is that a good man really, really resists and I’ve talked about this before I dedicated a whole episode on this, go back and listen to the links in the show notes, go back and listen to it. The words, the four words, I Told You So I don’t think that phrase has a belonging in any conversation whatsoever, let alone coming from a dude.

 

A good man, we’ll never ever use those words, even when he’s proven correct. Because it doesn’t matter. Go back and listen to the episode.

 

Why does it matter? What’s so important about being able to tell that person and just pounded in that you were right? In that scenario? That’s stupid. Who cares? Because you can both use that moment as a pivot point, in order to move forward in having the knowledge now.

 

Imagine like with the previous one, when a dude said, “I don’t know.” If he doesn’t know, then he could have been wrong, right? Women Imagine telling a dude every single time “Well, I told you, so.” How would that beat him down? So if you’ve got a guy that’s able to say first, “I don’t know.” And also never says “I told you so.” That’s a good dude. That’s a really, really good dude.

 

Oh, man, that’s incredible.

 

The last one I’m giving you today about a good man is that a good man knows that no amount of pride in his own life choices gives him a right to force those choices upon somebody else.

 

You’re tracking with me on that? So if you’re proud of something that you did in your life, which is actually a good thing, you should take pride in some good choices that you’ve made. Whether you’re a man or a woman, you should always take pride in those choices. But just because that choice was right for you, doesn’t necessarily mean that it’s right for somebody else.

 

Now, a good man will say, “Hey, you know what, this worked for me? It could work for you. So why don’t you try this.” But still respecting the fact that it’s still that other person’s decision, especially if it’s a woman, then it’s her choice to actually do the same thing that you did. But you by all means, of course, bring it up but that pride that you have should never be forced upon somebody else. Unless they ask for it.

 

If they’re asking to be like, “Hey, help me, come on, let’s do this. You know, like, keep me accountable. hold me to it.” Awesome. Go for it. But don’t dive into that. supporting her decisions is respecting her decisions, but just giving her the way that not to say, “Hey, you know what, this worked for me before, you might want to try this.” That’s all good. And that is a good man.

 

I hope you picked up a lot of things today, because there’s a lot of good men out there and remember this, that they’re still humans, so they’re gonna mess up and all six of these things except for the one the second one that I was telling you about a good man deserves no joy from making a woman feel intimidated. 

 

Run, run, run, if that’s the case, and that’s somebody that you’re with right now. And if you are that person, you better like ghosts hide somewhere in a corner and just whip yourself with a wet rag or something like that, because now’s the time to make a change in your life too. 

 

But these six things identify what a good man is.

Episode References: 

Emotional Intelligence

I told You So Episode

Connect:

Connect with Rick: https://linktr.ee/mrrickjordan

Universal Rate & Review: https://lovethepodcast.com/allinwithrickjordan

Subscribe & Review to ALL IN with Rick Jordan on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/RickJordanALLIN